Like a lot of Christians, I have been struggling deeply about the Church. What I see in Scripture and what I experience around me are in many ways very different. There is a great and fiery tension in my soul.

On one end I see that all fellowships at all times everywhere were full of messed up people (including the first disciples and the Acts 2 church). From Scripture I see that Christ’s bride will be dirty and unfaithful in varying measure until He returns to purify her. This is part of God’s design. As my pastor puts it, “The church is God’s gymnasium for sanctification.” The great “one another” passages of the Bible necessitate that we will in fact incur offense and harm at the hands of one another, thus providing us opportunity to bear with, forgive, and love one-another. The same sovereign God who is able to employ Leviathan as His rod is able to employ our self-destruction to our own sanctification. Providence is so often simultaneously beautifully lived yet utterly beyond comprehension.

Yet, I also see from Scripture that we, Yahweh’s adopted children, those He calls His own, are tasked with striving to present Christ a beautiful and pure bride. We are given, in part, a futile task it seems.

Music can often give voice to things which the soul otherwise struggles to express. This is partly why poetry is such a great medium. Figurative language stretches the mental landscape enabling it to better grasp those things which are beyond its natural bounds.

I recently grabbed an album by Disappointed by Candy. I had never heard of them until I got an email ad about them from NoiseTrade. The whole album is lyrically poignant. One song in particular, “Broken Machine” really spoke to me about the tension I feel regarding the Church.

Have a listen. Lyrics below.

Is it a dream, I heard you say “I want you to come over”
You want us to see all of the plans you made for one and no other

It’s easy to see that everybody else has this down to a science
but not you and me I can’t believe we sell our selves into silence

To follow the line of empty hearts beating to a machine that never stops to know that it’s broken.

It’s turning around and seeing that we are walking into a fire
that’s circling ’round ’cause we don’t need to stand here and feed this desire

To follow the line of empty hearts beating to a machine that never stops to know that it’s broken.